Having and yet not.

There are typically three types of people in any society. This is our so-called human kingdom where the wealthiest survive and the strugglers yearn. Unlike the merciful animal kingdom where the strong survive and the weak become prey and eventually fodder, the human kingdom is an evil place where the strugglers never die but live to struggle another day, day after day. These strugglers live long and miserable lives while their wealthy counter parts lap up the life of luxury only to die an earlier death of misery, at seeing their wealth become the center of many disputes between greedy relatives and power hungry financial advisors. In their last hour of death, they are forgotten for all the gains that are to be gotten. In spite of the many “friends” and relations at the funeral wake, the wealthy die lonely, never knowing who their honest and real friends were.

Somewhere in the middle of the More-Than-Haves (the wealthy) and Have-Nots (the strugglers) are the Haves. These unique group of people make up most of this three tier heirachy in our human kingdom. These are the people that are happy and mostly contented with their lot in life … until something happens to them to demote them into a Have Not.

And this happens a lot in the human kingdom. It almost never happens that something would promote a Have into a More-Than-Have. So until one or the other happens, the Haves will continue to be Haves, not wanting to temp fate by taking chances or making a risky life-changing decision. This status quo is a healthy arrangement between the Haves and Life in general.

But Life loves throwing curve balls at the human kingdom and because the Haves are such a large target, those curve balls mostly end up hitting a Have. The result is that the unfortunate Have will, more often than not, become a Have Not in a hurry. To compound the dilemma, the former Have is usually never adequately equipped to cope with the ramifications of getting hit by a curve ball and will inadvertently fall into desperation and need. Only then, will the former Have be force to take action to regain what he has lost. For some, giving up is a more tempting option.

This is where the story gets really sad. Upon being forced to visit the land of the Have Nots in the human kingdom, most former Haves will do whatever it takes to get out of there. These former Haves will succeed in their mission. Their goal of achieving Have status again, will be accomplished and life as they know it, will go on.

So why is that sad?

When Life throws you a curve ball, it is for a good reason and that reason is always plain and simple; its time to take that chance and make that change because you don’t have anything left to lose and everything else to gain. Life has chosen you and you are honored. But rather than go for it, the former Have sets goals that are familiar and are limited only by their short sighted beliefs. Once they re-attain their Have status, they will not be able to aim higher to become a More-Than-Have. Then the next curve ball comes.

As someone who has been at all three levels of this kingdom on more than one occasion, I now see a pattern in the way most of us lead our lives. Looking back, knowing what I know now, I doubt very much that I would have done things differently to avoid every and all the pitfalls that blighted my life as a Have. Each time, after every curve ball, I came back to being a Have and went back into the routine of surviving in that part of the kingdom. What I didn’t realize was that with each comeback, I had taken a small step up in the kingdom of Haves.

Before my last and greatest pitfall, I had achieved promotion into the More-Than-Haves. Life had thrown me a break for a change. Or did she? Falling from the More-Than-Haves back down into the Have-Nots was a double demotion. This was new to me. Then something occurred to me that changed my view of our human kingdom forever.

Instead of planning to get back up into the kingdom of Haves, I now found myself setting the goal of getting back into the kingdom of More-Than-Haves, from whence I last fell. No longer happy at being a mere Have, I wanted what I had lost, and more. I then realized that the boundaries that divide the three levels of our human kingdom, are all in the mind.

Why then, had it taken me so long to realize that aiming higher achieved higher goals? Why did I not set higher goals during my initial pitfalls? Why did it take a fall from a higher level to realize that I could achieve more? And why hasn’t everybody else realized this yet?

Its called a Limiting Belief System.

This Limit would have come about in many ways in the varied lives we lead; a belief that we could never be better than our fathers or role models, a belief that our advancement and promotion is limited to our educational qualification and/or experience, a belief that we will surely fail if we try.

How ironic that last belief is; that we will fail if we try. Try. The word in itself is a reason to fail. By trying, we are not giving ourselves enough credit to succeed. Rather, trying is giving us a valid excuse to fail.

Also, is it really a bad thing to have tried and failed? If it were, I would not be writing this and you would surely not appreciate the value of what I am sharing with you. It is because of my many failures that I am able to share with you the ways to succeed. Yes, you will fail from time to time … this is expected, but its not something that should be accepted. With each failure, you take a lesson and move on with the experience. You aim higher after each failure and you get better.

And you do this by not trying … you do this, by doing it!

Set your goals and take action. Just do it. And keep doing it. As you do, keep raising your expectations. Set higher goals even before the initial goal is achieved. Belief that you are better than you think you are and let nothing deter you from that belief. Break down the boundaries of your human kingdom and let the world be your oyster. Take it … it yours!

If that sounded like Achilles, it was meant to. After all, he never let anything limit his beliefs. Except maybe the thought that he had weak ankles. And look what happened to him … one limiting belief, one result.

When I make my presentations to convince people to take up my tutorial, another irony hits me; why should I have to convince people to make that decision to do something that they should want in the first place?

By virtue of coming to my presentation, these people are telling me two things. The first being that they have the time and resources to make that change. The second being they want to do something to make that change or they would not have come to listen to me at all.

Why then, do I have to work so hard to convince them of something they already know and want to do? The answer is in this chapter’s second paragraph.

And the reason they don’t make the decision is because they haven’t been thrown a curve ball … yet.

So, it isn’t strange that the More-Than-Haves and the Have-Nots make up most of my students. And for other obvious reasons too. And life will go on in this vicious pattern. Thus, as the saying goes, “Better you than me”.

But if change is what you want, re-read this chapter again and ask yourself why you haven’t set a higher expectation for yourself. You are going to find a second meaning in what I wrote. And then read it a third time and you’ll find a second meaning in what you read.

And for those who regard themselves as one of the few More-Than-Haves, what have you done to ensure you don’t die miserable? At least I’ll die knowing who my real friends are.

Life only happens once. What are you prepared to do to make the most of it?

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[...] him along the way. At the mean time, just come over and read his latest and very worth-reading post “Having and yet not” Related PostsDisclaimer THE USER ACKNOWLEDGES AND AGREES THAT ALL THE INFORMATION ON THIS BLOG IS [...]

[...] of. Their fear or reluctance to leave their comfort zone is their only obstacle between being a Have rather than a Have More Than.  Its called a Limiting Belief [...]

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